Grand Grannie Prep School

 The way things are going, my paternal grandparent is about to live till about half a century more, just to prove that she's not here to live fast, die young. Touching 82 years of age, her experience is beyond my comprehension.  She talks about fruits, veggies and how to prepare them to present an excellent meal be morning, afternoon or late night. She's a brilliant cook, being my dad's mother she has a certain ring to her that makes me feel like a thousand ants crawling on the inside of my skull, I don't know! What it feels like? Well not the same as having a fragile old lady for sure. Her arms are made of steel, so are her legs. If there's any way to get her out of those bangles and ear studs, it's to cut them using the right equipment. Her name is Midori Behrouz, and she can be a spoilt granny at times when she wants to me and my mother to dramatically fall down on a knee for her just so she can have live entertainment. (Remind me to check with my father on that one.)

                         She troubles the Lord a lot, calling upon them day and night to be under a blanket of safety, there is bad so we can compare yes, I know, and that is exactly what she preaches, by literally being a living example of two things at the same time. My kid's kids will live to see her alive. Though in the past I have wished death upon when she was tormenting my mum or dad, when once she'd actually convulsed, I had cried and had become frozen. I love her too much maybe and other emotions are camouflaging it. 

Meet My Guru Level Thoughts and Patterns

That's my siter Krittika, I love her and sometimes annoy her. But she rarely minds that. She's all for gains in all the small stuff. Sometimes, you lose all your humanity being in your circumstances alone, but you're wrong, you're never really all alone. There's someone out there who likes her a lot, will I be able to digest it when he finally comes along to take her hand in marriage? And that too from a very well to do family, as expected. Their family has been looking for boys for hand in marriage. How weird would that be huh, all of us having spouses and navigating the world as though we are adults and were never children. I am so drained of tears, when the emotions try to overwhelm me, I swallow them somehow. We all know it's all going to be all right. As the title of the book Ayn Rand's, "We the Living" suggests, we will be too busy in catering to this dimension and all the chaos over here. 

NO LOVE LOST, NO LOVE FOUND

 Today is Christmas, tomorrow my mother's birthday and my grandfather's death anniversary and on the last day of this month of December that is 31st its going to be my birthday! Coupled with New Year's Eve and New Year itself, the year remains packed with occasions to mourn and celebrate. To mourn one must observe silence. They do it so easily, like it's cost them nothing off their calmness. Must be because otherwise it all ceases to exist. The kind of games that one can play on the pc is very different. 

I am so doubtful about what my life's calling is; for a while being with friends in college is okay and the rest is also okay, but I really want to give back to the society. Maybe the answer to every question, including the ones that are in my head will come to me through a prophecy. All the same, I am aware, but still. I can't be a teacher, because then I'd just be copying my mother, who has been a schoolteacher, now retired and it was a short stint anyway. She is a full-time mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, a law-abiding citizen and a national treasure if you ask me. I am so proud of my mother. 

Maybe trying to be a teacher is not so bad, after-all, my mother's mother too had been a teacher in her younger days. What I am afraid of is not being able to please everyone. That is bad surely; To some, during my stint after graduating from college and being a social recluse of some sort, I frolicked around and the banter was replaced with a caterpillar like eyebrow, would seem unlikely, but at times I was still considered a professional. 

I should've been ready with a job after graduating through placements and all that, that was the plan, but everything happens for a reason. You set the ideals and you plan it for somebody else and not me. After you make them, you know, someone that has achieved all that and more already, where does that leave you? in awe. What's life like being in awe of somebody and knowing you'd never be that someone, or ever achieve that somebody's life just like you envision it. For a long-lasting relationship and a short one your tryst with destiny just never ends. Nobody ever really goes.