Calm After the Storm

Render me speechless. Can someone tell me a sweet story about a girl about to die, taking her last breath, making her last wish? A little heads up though, her last wish is the one that comes true.

Come hither, close enough so she can see you. Give her a reason to believe, give her a reason to feel. Save her from the thunder she thinks is real. 

Rarely do you find her owing up to her disbelief, is it a life she's prepared to lead?

Head over to her, give her your shoulder when she weeps. Damp with sweat, her cheeks are flushed red. Time-bound is her journey can you give her what she needs?

It's not the solid truth, it's the petty lies that she believes. Learning to give more regardless is her idea of closure. Ban her pleasures and trap her in a butcher shop, she is ready to be vicious. Fan her flames with the oxygen of heed, it's a miracle to just let her breathe. 

Existence is what she longs for in this world of endless greed.  

xxx

Talented Much?

List out all the things that make you happy

Is it the blue sky?

Is it the crooked smile?

Is it the forbidden fruit?

Is the life you live?

Is it the person you met?

Is it the city you left?

Or are they the lights you missed?

Never enough is it. Tell me how it is, and maybe I'll share my story with you. Everything comes at a price but what price are you willing to pay for it? 

Would you kill, would you bleed, would you hum a tune for her?

Would you die, would you lie, would you buy something for her?

Would you cry, would you fly, would you love her for her?

Dreamers never get it easy and it's the price that they pay. I'm an artist and it's a process that you embrace. All the silver linings aren't always made of lace. 

Can someone tell me how to win at life and how to race?

Rats are the one's best at it. But what they don't teach you at school is can someone buy happiness? Perspective was my first choice, I thought it would change everything I felt about it. But frankly, it's not that easy. It takes a certain gift to be able to harness the light inside you. Fear is what holds you back and it's supposed to be the drive that gets you to the finish line.

Be nice, be generous, spread love, it's literally all that we can gift the world. 

Blush, smile, be honest, most of all with yourself. 

xxx

Life of an Addict

 Sometimes, the reality you are looking for is within you. If not life, if not love, it's drugs, you have to go out to look for it hoping you'll find it, because it doesn't always come easily to you. Meet it halfway maybe you'll connect together in ways you couldn't even imagine. Now I never believed in love or in my lovers but I made it all worth it for me. Does that make me selfish? maybe, but that's just the way life is, not everyone can be a Mother Teresa can they? Opening your heart up to people in your life takes effort, patience, persistence, and sweetness.

Can people be loved and love at the same time? or can you just do one of these things at a time? 

It's tough to love and even tougher to be loved. To receive you have to be heartless, which is a paradoxical concept. What I believe in is eternity and forever. Hard to get, harder to revive. But the effort is worth the fruit. Time has never been an obstacle but it has always been a factor, the number of variables involved in the journey of life and lies is immense and sometimes you drown and get trapped in your own web but the answer is to let yourself fall. Fall down, get up, move and groove. 

Life is all about seizing opportunities whenever they come your way, you never miss the bus there's always going to be another one to catch. It is human nature to feel disheartened whenever you hit the blues. The challenge is to get past and jump over, slide under or avoid the obstacle completely it is the calculative mind that gets the result. The early bird gets the worm but the late riser gets more sleep. What is more important for you at the moment is for you to decide. 

xxx

Warning Bells

Let's just say I've never been good with first impressions. What would I do if it weren't for google? How to make a boy fall in love with you, fast. Might actually just be the only thing I searched for if you happened to go through my browsing history, one day before I went for any date. Thankfully I've never been stood up, yet. Dating is definitely hard especially at this ripe age of 22 when hormones are wreaking havoc in your system and there seems to be no way out. Nut one out I believe how guys do it. Girls? Every single one has their own way. Me? I create trouble. 

Only for myself though, when I'm bored. Helps me cope with all the bigger stresses life poses. I take them as challenges to my sanity because I swear I would go crazy if it were not for these, I'd forgotten how to feel. And now I can't stop feeling. 

xxx

A Chapter in My Life

It was that one night, that changed my life forever.
And I knew nothing would ever be the same again.
Words wouldn't do it justice, neither would my memory, but just for the sake of documenting it somewhere, here goes the tale.
It was a regular night, I was out at my boyfriend's place indulging in smoking, not just cigarettes, but also the special grass that made Bob Marley famous. Weed. Ganja, or simply put, Maal.
Something was going to happen tonight, of which I wasn't a part, yet. But I wanted to be.
Bubbling beside me with literal happiness was  X. (Bc that's what he is to me now, my ex) I asked him what the deal was, he'd just gotten off a phone call. E, he said. What? I didn't get him the first time. So, "Ecstasy." He repeated himself for me. Oh! The most popular club drug? What about it? "We're popping tonight," he said. It was an entirely different world, the one with drugs that must not be named.
"How much does one cost?" I was curious, naturally. "750 rupees" he retorted. I didn't think twice before saying that I wanted in too. After much trouble of rearranging the doses so I would fit in, I became a part of the plan, money was never a problem. We would pop with a few of our friends who stayed in the adjoining tower. A new experience, I told myself. I was intrigued as to what would happen as the night progressed.
We met our friends from tower 3 at around 11 in the night. The air itself was buzzing with anticipation, by 11:30pm the boys and I had the pill down our throats and that's where the 12-hour journey that would fundamentally change me, began.

One hour later.
Boom, boom, boom, the music ran through my eardrums, reminding me to get up on my feet, if only I could feel them. The room was blasting with psytrance and all I knew was that my vision had become 1000% more enhanced and I could see everything in absolute slow motion, per se. 

I hadn't eaten anything the entire day and I knew I needed fuel but it seemed like my body was a separate entity and all it wanted was to writhe in this newfound happiness. I'd never felt so happy in a long time, I kept sucking on my lips the drive was so strong. I'd never feel like that again ever. I knew. I looked around and took in the details, of the people who were present, my feelings, emotions, the music, the vibe, and everything else. It was a night to remember. Which for the life of me I cannot recall entirely.

Greek Gods

 Summer, I fell for you 

autumn came too fast

I knew that our love

surely wouldn't last 

never said too much 

didn't even touch

but you knew I had 

half of you in hand 

talk over the phone 

hours on end you know 

slowly turned to stone 

you were insecure 

own me like I'm yours

show what you stand for 

didn't know better 

you are who I chose

always had to prove 

I was in love too 

trust just wasn't us 

knew I knew too much 

you didn't want to lose 

to someone like you 

told me not to speak 

keep my eyes covered 

said people will judge

it's not a problem

Calling me at 3

asking if I'm free

yes for you baby 

I could lose some sleep

Saw some pics online 

with some friends of mine 

He said he was so shocked 

But I said I didn't cheat and 

Now that it's come to this 

it's either me or them 

He said he'd hurt himself 

If I didn't come through for him

should've listened to my friends

they told me he's crazy 

Just like he said they would

Been a year since we met though

Now all I did was cry 

he said no telling lies

He knew I talked to guys 

There's no love in his eyes

Yes I spoke to boys 

I liked being free 

I was just 16

Yes I made new friends 

We spoke a little less  

I was done with you

what you said was true 

I wanted to live 

Like you said I would

And one day, I just left.

xxx