I want to change

 I want to change..

I am sick of dancing to the tune of what I think others might like or what is acceptable by the society. I want to be the change I want, the highly driven, passionate individual who is content with what they have, confidently and silently living freely not afraid of what others might think and being under pressure of wanting to be liked by everybody. It used to be so but not anymore. It took me a long time to accept my reality. I'm not as attractive as any mainstream actress/model (a profession I secretly admire) or as knowledgeable as a scientist. I am part of the universal average who live everyday knowing that they're not enough and could be better but don't have adequate will power to make it happen. I mean if you got assets you definitely do want to flaunt them, otherwise what's the use you know.

    If I had a rupee for every time I though I looked pretty I'd definitely have a couple of fifties. I need to lose a few kilos to look better, the fat around my chin and on my face makes me look really ugly, I wonder why it doesn't go to all the right places like maybe around my hips. Lately all the fat has been accumulating around my belly making giving me the appearance of a pregnant lady, and while that's not meant to be an insult to anybody that's pregnant, it does mean that the food baby needs to be aborted immediately.  

Both in my body and mind certain changes need to brought. Meditating regularly has brought about phenomenal changes to my mental health. I used to feel queasy just thinking about my job and nowadays I just keep on going without feeling too upset about it. Big difference. My advise? Meditate and stay strong. Don't quit and just keep on going.